My Story by Alfredo “Freddy” Carvajal

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Story written by Alfredo “Freddy” Carvajal

I was born with a dislocated hip and grew up in Trail Farm Village in Orange Walk, Belize. During this time, people had their ideas and beliefs as to why children are born with an abnormality. Fortunately for me, my dad was working in the medical field, so he knew that this was part of nature. At home, I was always reminded that I was just like any other kid, and growing up with my two older brothers made my infant years as normal as they could have been. We would watch movies, play with each other, and I even had my neighborhood friends spend time with us. Not one time did I feel like I was different. As I reflect, I realize that my family was protecting me from the stigma out there, especially because growing up in a very traditional village makes people gossip and make up their own stories as to the reasons behind my disability. Little did I know that my innocent childhood years were about to change.

I will never forget the day I felt like I didn’t belong. I was in kindergarten and what was supposed to be the best school year of my life turned into a series of scary events. I was four years old and my mom had to carry me in her arms to take me to school because I couldn’t walk very well, while the other kids would walk along with their moms. My class was on the second floor and my seat was near the window, so I had a good view of the playground, a playground that I never got to experience because my teacher would not carry me up and down the flight of stairs. Every recess, the kids would go out and play, and I would just sit there watching as they would go down the slide or play on the swings. I couldn’t do these things, and it made me very sad.

When I thought everything was about to be different, it only got worse. I was about to begin primary school, and I thought, The big school where my brothers are . . . now I’ll get to play with them. But this was not the case because bullying began. The other kids began to notice that I could not walk normally and waited for me to be alone to call me names. I also had a difficult time playing sports, so every time we had physical education, no one would choose me, so I was left on the sidelines. I disliked Sports Day because all the teams had one goal in mind—to win—so, for this reason, I was never chosen. In fact, they would make fun of me and often ignored me.

Sometimes, even teachers would do that to me and make me feel left out. Kids and adults would call me a chenko (someone who walks funny), and this is a word that I cannot bear to hear because it is an emotional trigger for me. These years were part of a very painful time in my life. I never shared these events with my parents or brothers, but my dad knew me very well, and he knew I was not OK.

I am grateful that my dad met Uncle Gene. My dad was an X-ray technician at the Orange Walk Hospital. That is where he met Uncle Gene and the Belize Children’s Project team. The Belize Children’s Project, led by Uncle Gene, had a clinic day at the hospital. Many kids with orthopedic difficulties would come to the hospital to meet with the Shriners doctors to get a medical review, including X-rays. My dad would assist with the kids’ X-rays. He also provided the project team with a list of local kids who needed help.

He had been doing this for a couple of years, but this particular year, one of the kids happened to be me. After reviewing my X-rays, the team and the doctors agreed that I needed to go to the US for surgery at Shriners hospital. My dad was working behind the scenes with Uncle Gene and the Belize Children’s Project because he knew my mom would be hesitant to send me. When my dad broke the news to me, I was so excited to go because I would get my hip fixed and fly on an airplane for the first time. All I could think was that I was finally going to be normal.

The difficult task my dad had was to convince my mom that this was for my benefit. For me to travel to the US for surgery, both of my parents would need to agree. My mother was very much afraid. I was her youngest child, with two brothers, and it was very hard for her to let me go. The villagers in town were telling her not to send me, that she might never see her kid again! My grandmother was also very concerned. She was very religious and very skeptical as well.

I remember walking home with my parents from my grandmother’s house. I was in between them as they talked. My dad explained that, with the surgery, I would be able to do so many things that I couldn’t do then, like riding a bike or play sports with my friends. She was still not convinced, so I put on my big boy pants, and I told her that I wanted to go. I wanted to be a normal person. With pain in her heart, and tears in her eyes, she agreed.

The day finally came for me to go. I was super happy to go to the United States. My parents took me to the airport, and my mom was crying. While in the airport lobby in Belize City, we happened to see another child. It was a baby who was returning with her mother from surgery at Shriners. The lady saw my mom and told her not to worry. They had traveled twice to the States, and everyone was very nice. Her experience made my mom feel much better. It reassured her that I would return.

It was time for me to leave, and I clearly remember a soft and gentle hand grabbing mine. It was Mrs. Dai Norris. Her hands were very warm, and she was so kind to me. She reminded me of my grandmother, so I felt safe, and I was so excited to go inside the big airplane. Mrs. Norris, from the Children’s Project, traveled with me on the airplane. I remember waving to mom from the tiny window. I couldn’t see her and my brothers, but I waved anyway. Later, my brother told me that our mom was crying very hard while waving.

We arrived in St. Louis at night. When I woke up the next day, it had sunk in that I was a long way from home, and I began to cry and cry. I called my dad in Belize, and I’ll never forget what he said. “This is it. You need to put your big boy pants on. Everything is going to be ok!” The following day, they took me to stay with the Dalton family. Susan Dalton took care of me before the surgery. She had two kids, Eric and Kristy. She even enrolled me in a local school, the same one her kids attended. The kids at the school were very friendly.

They loved hearing about Belize. My memory of these events are very vague, but I do remember that we didn’t wear uniforms to go to school. We wore casual clothes, and this was exciting because, in Belize, we only wore casual clothing on special occasions.

The day of my first doctor’s appointment came, so Susan took me to the hospital. She informed me that I would be staying with another family, the Brennan family, and that they would be waiting for me at the hospital. She wished me good luck, and that’s when I met Charlene Brennan. At first, she seemed very strict, but once I saw her contagious smile, I felt safe. She accompanied me to the pre-surgery consultation and asked the doctors several questions regarding my surgery. She was very much involved in my case, and she didn’t even know me, but I was happy to be under her care. She took me to her home, and that’s where I met her family: Patrick, her husband, and their two sons, Mike and Cory. She carried my luggage and helped me up the stairs to my bedroom. I was so happy.

At home, I shared a bedroom with my brothers, but there I got to have a room for myself. Charlene’s family was very welcoming. Pat was very playful, and Mike and Cory shared their toys and Nintendo with me. It was time for the big event. I was nervous, so the night before my surgery, I talked to my parents on the phone. My dad once again reassured me that I would be alright.

All the people at Shriners hospital were very nice. The nurses were very friendly and talked to me about everything I would be experiencing. Before I went in for the surgery, I met a kid who told me what they would be doing. He had gone through something similar and said that I would be wearing a cast from my hip to my feet. I didn’t believe him.  And then, the time for my surgery came. They gave me bubblegum-scented gas before going to the operating room. The flavored gas was so delicious, I quickly dozed off.

The next thing I remember was waking up in my hospital room. I looked up and saw a television that was playing the TV show The Simpsons. I instantly recalled what the kid had told me before surgery and started feeling down my body. And sure enough, I was in a cast from hips to feet. I thought to myself, Oh my gosh! And began to cry. A nurse came in and consoled me. Nurse Shari was very nice to me and made me feel better. In fact, everyone at Shriners was very attentive and took good care of me.

Then, things became very difficult for me. I began feeling very alone, not having my mother and father with me. I was also in a lot of pain. In the cast, my legs were spread open with a rod separating them. It was just so hard in the beginning, needing help to do everything. After the cast was finally removed, I was in a wheelchair for several weeks.

My family and the doctors wanted to make sure I was ready to travel home, so once a month, they would need to change my cast. They used a saw to remove it, and the noise gave me chills. I still get a little  squeamish when I hear the sound of it or of a similar tool.

I stayed with the Brennans for about nine months.  Post surgery care was very arduous, but Charlene did a great job nursing me at home. To make sure I was fully healed, she pushed me through post-care so I could make it through. Therapy came with excruciating pain, but with Charlene’s constant uplifting words, I overcame it. She encouraged me to exercise every day, even when I didn’t want to. Sometimes I tried to cheat, turning on the treadmill without getting on it, but she could always tell by checking the machine!

Everyone pushed me to be active, to run, and ride a bike. Looking back, I appreciate Charlene’s persistence so much. The family, including her husband Pat and sons Mike and Cory, took such good care of me.  When my time in the States came to an end, I came back to Belize. Since then, the Brennans have come to visit me often. I was so much more confident when I returned from the States. I was mentally more assertive and able to deal with bullying.

My dad passed away in 2011. He was my best friend. Charlene was the first person to call and console me. I’ll never forget that. As an adult now, wherever I go, I talk about my experience at Shriners, my host family, the Belize Children’s Project, and especially Uncle Gene Verdu. The entire experience taught me to be a good person. They have taught me how to “Pay it forward” by helping others whenever I can.

When I first met Mr. Gene Verdu in Belize, I didn’t know he was the person who started this excellent program. Mama Charlene filled me in on what her uncle had accomplished with helping so many children. That’s when I began calling him Uncle Gene. He has always been such a great guy and so kind to everyone. To this day, I keep him in my mind and prayers and strive to be like him.

Every time I try to gift Mama Charlene or Uncle Gene something, they ask me to share this blessing with someone else. This speaks volumes about the kind souls they are. They have inspired me to be like them, and I wish I could be given a lifetime to be half the persons they are. I don’t know what my life would have been like if Uncle Gene hadn’t started the Belize Children’s Project. I owe my life to him and Charlene.

Without the surgery, I would not be the person I am, and I certainly would not have achieved the career that I’ve been blessed with as chief security officer. It’s a job that requires you to stand for hours at a time. Since I was blessed with this job, I ensure that I give back some of my blessings to others out there.

At my job, I have initiated a pay it forward program called Christmas Cheer. Every Christmas, my security team assists families with groceries and a clean-up house campaign during this festive time. Every year, we set a goal to reach more families in need.

In 2019, on Clinic Day in the Orange Walk Hospital, I finally met the man who changed my life on that operating table: Dr. Perry Schoenecker. After twenty-two years, he wanted to see an X-ray of my hip. When he saw the X-ray, he said, “Nice! Who did that?” in a very jovial yet humbling manner. That year, I surprised Mama Charlene with the good news that I would be going to the States. She was so happy to hear I wanted to visit Shriners. , I later traveled to the United States and spent time with Uncle Gene and the Brennan family.

It opened my mind to explore new opportunities that I, earlier in life, didn’t have the confidence to pursue, like visiting Shriners hospital. There, I met with Dr. Schoenecker again. It was such an honor and blessing to be there, where it all started. I am grateful I got to visit Uncle Gene and share this moment with him. I was given the opportunity to share with him how much I valued this experience. He made ALL of this possible! I was happy to hear all the stories he had to tell. He is such a great man, and I am privileged to form part of his legacy.

My wife Anais has been with me through my challenging times and has been so kind to share my life story in an illustrated book called Why Me? When she was studying, she had an assignment whereby she had to write about children with disabilities and the challenges they face. She chose to share my story since I am someone who overcame the trauma.

The project was quite challenge because even today, I sometimes struggle with the memories, but I am so proud of her for completing the book about my life. We were glad to share it with Charlene and the Belize Children’s Project. Anais and I both are very excited about At Your Service. This book and the Uncle Gene Foundation will have such a positive impact on the children of Belize.

 

 

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